Friday, January 21, 2011

Titles I'd Like to See

Titles and brief reviews of three books I'm sure will never be published:

Tattle Tails

Revealed at last: the deepest, darkest secrets of picture book characters!  What are those scandalous creatures up to?  Learn all the inside scoop on who has something to hide, including:
Olivia shipped off to fat farm!!  

The Hungry Caterpillar's binge and purge routine!

Why is Fancy Nancy hiding behind those sunglasses?  
Is rehab next?

Is Pinkalicious really a porn star???  Her parents' secret shame!

"I am Curious George/yellow; I am Curious George/blue"  --  Ever wonder why some Curious George books are yellow

 and some are blue?  


 This book reveals the shocking truth!!  Guaranteed to knock your socks off!

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 The Annotated Guide to Celebrity Picture Books:
The Definitive Edition

Learn the hidden meanings and deep philosophical truths behind such timeless classics as If Roast Beef Could Fly by Jay Leno, The English Roses by Madonna,  Mr. Chas and Lisa Sue Meet Panda by Fran Liebowitz, High in the Clouds by Paul McCartney, Jag by LeAnn Rimes, and much much more!  The spiritual concepts behind these books are explained in detail, along with the logic paradoxes and quantum physics underlying the plot and themes of these complicated volumes.

This lengthy and scholarly tome also delves into the origins of each of these wonderful stories. Discover how these gems came to be! Historical context is explained. Includes footnotes, original drafts of each book, editing notes, correspondence between the author and editor, second drafts final drafts, Swiss bank accounts author contracts.

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They Came From Beyond the Grave

"Dead men (or women) tell no tales."  

Or do they?

Richard Scarry, Dr. Seuss,  H.A. Rey, Margaret Wise Brown, Shel Silverstein, 

Roald Dahl, Matt Christopher, V.C. Andrews  -- their books just keep selling and selling and selling.  And they're all DEADKinda sends chills up your spine, doesn't it?

But there's more!  As gruesome as it sounds, sometimes NEW titles magically appear in bookstores and libraries, even though the author's been dead for YEARS.  Gertrude Chandler Warner wrote 19 Boxcar Children books and then died in 1979.  So what's with the other 101 102 103 104 105 106?

What funny titles can YOU come up with? And did I miss any dead children's authors who are still selling?

Reminder: My giveaway goes until 11:59 pm EST on Sunday January 23.  Only a few days left to enter! 


  1. You've just put a whole new spin on "ghost writer." LOL!

  2. Oooo, Myrna! Wish I'd thought of that. Good one!

    Thanks, Katharine!

  3. Those were hilarious! What a great imagination you have!

  4. Thanks, Lydia! I figured it was time for something on the lighter side.

  5. This made me just crack UP! Thank you for the good giggle. How about CAT IN THE HAT AT THE SPCA?


  6. Thanks, Amy. And hey, that's funny! Just think of the possibilities.

    I checked out your blog and followed. Congrats on your book coming out in 2012!


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