Titles I'd Like to See

Titles and brief reviews of three books I'm sure will never be published:

Tattle Tails

Revealed at last: the deepest, darkest secrets of picture book characters!  What are those scandalous creatures up to?  Learn all the inside scoop on who has something to hide, including:
  
Olivia shipped off to fat farm!!  

The Hungry Caterpillar's binge and purge routine!

Why is Fancy Nancy hiding behind those sunglasses?  
Is rehab next?

Is Pinkalicious really a porn star???  Her parents' secret shame!

"I am Curious George/yellow; I am Curious George/blue"  --  Ever wonder why some Curious George books are yellow

 and some are blue?  

 





 This book reveals the shocking truth!!  Guaranteed to knock your socks off!

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 The Annotated Guide to Celebrity Picture Books:

The Definitive Edition

Learn the hidden meanings and deep philosophical truths behind such timeless classics as If Roast Beef Could Fly by Jay Leno, The English Roses by Madonna,  Mr. Chas and Lisa Sue Meet Panda by Fran Liebowitz, High in the Clouds by Paul McCartney, Jag by LeAnn Rimes, and much much more!  The spiritual concepts behind these books are explained in detail, along with the logic paradoxes and quantum physics underlying the plot and themes of these complicated volumes.

This lengthy and scholarly tome also delves into the origins of each of these wonderful stories. Discover how these gems came to be! Historical context is explained. Includes footnotes, original drafts of each book, editing notes, correspondence between the author and editor, second drafts final drafts, Swiss bank accounts author contracts.

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They Came From Beyond the Grave

"Dead men (or women) tell no tales."  

Or do they?

Richard Scarry, Dr. Seuss,  H.A. Rey, Margaret Wise Brown, Shel Silverstein, 

Roald Dahl, Matt Christopher, V.C. Andrews  -- their books just keep selling and selling and selling.  And they're all DEAD.  Kinda sends chills up your spine, doesn't it?


But there's more!  As gruesome as it sounds, sometimes NEW titles magically appear in bookstores and libraries, even though the author's been dead for YEARS.  Gertrude Chandler Warner wrote 19 Boxcar Children books and then died in 1979.  So what's with the other 101 102 103 104 105 106?

What funny titles can YOU come up with? And did I miss any dead children's authors who are still selling?


Reminder: My giveaway goes until 11:59 pm EST on Sunday January 23.  Only a few days left to enter! 

Nobody does it alone, Jack

Yes.

LOST fans out there will recognize that quote from last night's momentous final episode. I don't watch much television. In fact, I made a conscious decision two years ago to give it up for the sake of the writing, but I allowed myself two exceptions: Jeopardy! (because it's a brain exercise, of course) and Lost.

I had to keep watching Lost. So for six seasons I've been a faithful, if sometimes frustrated, fan. And yes, I will relate this post to children's books because everything, everything, my friend, relates to children's books in the end. That's one goal I've always had with this blog.

Lost was one of the most literate and intelligent TV shows ever created. What other show could include references to Watership Down by Richard Adams, The Stand by Stephen King, Ulysses by James Joyce, Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men? Along with numerous other masterpieces by the likes of Shakespeare, Homer, Ayn Rand, Vonnegut, Flannery O'Connor. And of course, let's not forget The Bible.

But, wait! None of those are children's books! Ah...

So this is where we reach the good part. In a recent L.A. Times article, Damon Lindelof, one of the show's creators and producers (along with Carlton Cuse) said:

If one book was most influential on the show, it was probably “Alice in Wonderland.” "To say there is only one is unfair," said Lindelof, "but we keep coming back to 'Alice in Wonderland' thematically. That was a book that both Carlton and I remember very specifically as children. It was a gateway drug to sci-fi and fantasy in many ways."

They also reference the Narnia books by C.S. Lewis, and Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle In Time.

So there, my friends, was one good reason to watch Lost.

Here's another. A lesson for aspiring writers of children's books:

Create memorable characters and the audience (i.e., your readers) will go along for the ride, no matter how bumpy or far-fetched the story occasionally seems.

Goodbye, Lost. It's been a fascinating ride.

Anyone else out there a Lost fan? What did you think?

Children's books that hang around forever

Well, since no one guessed the answer in my last post, I'll give you another hint. It's a picture book.

And to repeat what started this little contest, I had a customer recently who came up to me with this conundrum:

"I'm looking for that kids' book. You know the one I mean."

and oddly enough I did know the one she meant. If you're the first person to guess which book it was, you'll win a prize (your choice of certain ARCs for Spring 2010).

Happy guessing.

Actual Customer Quotes

I'm not trying to insult anyone here. So no names, dates or other clues will be used. But just so you have some indication of why booksellers sometimes want to tear their hair out, these are actual customer quotes from the past few months in the bookstore where I work.

"I'm looking for a kids' book and I don't know the author or the title but it has a blue cover."

"Is this the price that it says it is?"


And last but certainly not least:

"I'm looking for that kids' book. You know the one I mean."


The strange thing was, I did know the one she meant. Clearly, either the brain aneurysm made me psychic or I'm the perfect person for this job.

A prize will be awarded to whoever guesses the title of that last request.

Early Newbery and Caldecott predictions

Okay, I probably won't be on here much for the next couple of weeks (so all 4 of you who are reading this, take note) because I'm now up to my eyeballs in critiques. First for my own writing group (which always takes priority) and then for an SCBWI conference in early October.

But I wanted to post some early Newbery and Caldecott predictions. Because even though I never ever manage to predict the gold medal winners, I have on more than one occasion actually picked some books that ended up with silver medals (honors). For those who don't know, the Caldecott Award is named for the 19th-century illustrator Randolph J. Caldecott and is awarded every year in January by the ALA (American Library Association) to the artist who has illustrated the most distinguished American picture book of the previous year. Last year's winner was The House in the Night by Susan Marie Swanson, illustrated by Beth Krommes (Houghton Mifflin).

The Newbery (and please note the spelling: it's not Newberry) is named for an 18th-century bookseller (woo hoo!) named John Newbery, and awarded by the ALA for the most distinguished contribution to American children's literature from the previous year. Last year's winner was The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman (HarperCollins). These are the big two awards among librarians and booksellers. There are a host of other awards including the Bel Pre award and the Sibert Medal, etc. The Printz award (for young adult books) has been gaining ground in more recent years, and the Theodore Seuss Geisel Award for Beginning Readers is starting to pick up speed. But the two awards that make book collectors salivate are the Caldecott and the Newbery.

So, as of today, here's my list:

Caldecott Award Predictions

Jerry Pinkney for The Lion and the Mouse (a wordless picture book with stunning illustrations) just out this month from Little, Brown.




Leo and Diane Dillon, illustrators of Mama Says by Rob Walker (Scholastic, April 2009).








Marla Frazee, illustrator of All the World by Liz Garton Scanlon (Beach Lane Books/Simon & Schuster, Sept 2009).



Newbery Award Predictions

The Magician's Elephant by Kate DiCamillo, with illustrations by Yoko Tanaka (Candlewick, Sept 2009). Mentioned in my earlier post.


Love, Aubrey by Suzanne LaFleur (Random House, June 2009).

Beautiful and sad. And it won't win because she's a new author. But one can always hope.

When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead (Wendy Lamb Books, July 2009). Also previously mentioned here.


There you have it. I may not hit any of them but it's worth a shot.

Brain Aneurysm 101

Ok... so up there in my header it mentions "the brain stuff." If you wondered what that meant, I'm here to explain. And please bear with me, because this WILL tie in to books eventually. After all, books are my life. In honor of September (National Brain Aneurysm Awareness Month... if Congress ever gets around to declaring it. House Resolution 263 still needs more co-sponsors before they can pass the legislation), I present to you the basics of brain aneurysm awareness:

1) A brain aneurysm is NOT a brain tumor. They are two completely different illnesses.

2) A brain aneurysm is a bubble or bulge in a weakened wall of an artery in the brain. In my case it developed on the tip of the basilar artery.

3) According to the Brain Aneurysm Foundation, 1 in 50 people have an unruptured brain aneurysm.

4) Approximately 25,000 people per year will suffer a cerebral aneurysmal rupture.

5) According to Dr. Kwan, the neuroradiologist who coiled my aneurysm, one third of rupture patients die within 15 minutes. Of those who survive the initial bleed, one third will die of complications, one third will survive with some deficit and one third will survive and return to the baseline state.


So the odds of me fully recovering worked out to something like 1 in 9. I'm one of the lucky ones. I was able to go back to work (on a limited basis) three months after my rupture. But it took me a full year and a half to feel like myself again.

Yes, I am a brain aneurysm survivor. And, yes, I work in a bookstore. Would you believe in seven years of working in the Children's Department, the only book I've come across that treats brain aneurysms with respect is Tangerine by Edward Bloor? (Thank you, Mr. Bloor.)

Then there are books that turn aneurysms into a joke. On page 357 of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, Bella says: "It appeared that Charlie was having an aneurysm." She does something similar in New Moon, when Bella tells Jacob, "Don't have a brain hemorrhage, Jacob." As someone who actually had a brain hemorrhage, I can tell you there is nothing funny about it.

Now if someone would just write a book in which the brain aneurysm sufferer actually lives...